A lesson I learned the hard way? Ummm, I really must scourge the brain for this one. Thinking.

Kidding! Kidding!

It starts off learning that I love attention. I understand everyone loves attention. I get it, but I never thought of myself really like ME! ME! ME!. Maybe my subtext is subtler, “Hey! Look at me! Aren’t I awesome?”

I learned there are moments where listening is important AKA stay quiet. People ask the questions I wanted to ask, say the things I would have wanted to say, and the things I want to talk about could be held off to a later date. If they are important thoughts, they can wait.

Like, there was a discussion on stealing. Not only stealing physical things but stealing someone’s time, patience, essentially, the intangibles. Note* I am completely against stealing of both!

Idealism meets realism. I had to admit to myself I was seeking some people’s attention in my life – especially in the wrong places. I became aware of this by a good person in my life. I wasn’t acting in the best behavior. It was embarrassing to admit, I owed up to my behavior. The good thing about it is, I am willing to change; therefore, I have changed.

I made cupcakes for a group of people I really like on Sunday. I’ve been talking about these cupcakes for two weeks. The first week didn’t have time to make them (from scratch). The second week I totally promised everyone that the CUPCAKES would be at the event. I delivered. But, carrying those cupcakes, I thought, why the hell did I even want to make cupcakes in the first place? Was it for appreciation? (To hear, “Hey these are some great cupcakes!” and feel good from a comment?). Was making these cupcakes to steal people’s attention, to make them like me, something selfish and egotistical?

First, I realized that I honestly do like to bake. I get some music playing, dance around a bit, and eat some of the results of this baking process – I advise licking the bowl! I wanted to share my interest, my passion, with people that have been good to me. But to avoid “stealing” attention or looking for gratification by manipulation before arriving, I knew I needed to let go of the result. I had to let go of the reactions to the cupcakes.

Epiphany! I could do this for the rest of my Christmas gifts this year. If they don’t like it, that’s ok. If they do like it, that’s ok too!

It’s important to have frivolous fun conversations from time to time, and other times it’s as important to listen too.

Enjoy!